The time I tried Paleo….

The time I tried Paleo….

“Why do I do this to myself?”, is what I asked myself approximately 20 times during the week of my paleo experiment. When my friends ask me why I do this, I reply, “well, it’s research. I am a dietitian and need to know what it is like to eat paleo, gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, etc.”. Not saying I like doing it, not saying I dislike doing it. I say, “it is part of my profession”.

Day 1

Went for a run in the  morning then made a “spinach drink” (which is what Rebeka and I call it). This drink consisted of spinach, water, carrot juice, grapes, frozen banana, mango and ground flaxseeds (always get ground, never whole, your body can’t digest whole seeds therefore it is a waste of money, unless you ground them yourself). Drank that on the way to work then I had breakfast around 10 am. Breakfast consisted of two hard boiled eggs, 1 piece of ham and 1 piece of bacon. I added ketchup which “they” say isn’t recommended but you can use it sparingly, therefore I shall use it on many things. Felt pretty good at this point.

Then lunch came around and I share an office with the social workers (hey Kim and Loretta!). Companies bring the social workers food all. the. time. (I love it). Although, I didn’t love it too much today. A company brought in about 20 sandwiches, cookies, chips, pickles, salad and iced tea…. for the two of them! Not the best day to start going paleo. So I took the meat out of the italian combo and the chicken salad off the chicken salad sandwich (duh), added some lettuce and called it a day. Then, I ate some cherries, then an apple, then a peach, then applesauce. I was feeling pretty good at this point although tired, I didn’t sleep well the night before, I don’t think it was related to what I was eating because I was eating a decent amount.

Got home and had some almonds and sunflower seeds before going out to dinner. The Office has reopened in Morristown. The first night I went there with Rebeka and Hillary I had the ‘Jammin’ Sliders’. They were mini burgers, cornbread substituted as the bun with cheddar cheese, raspberry peppercorn jam and arugala. So, delicious. I have to tell you, it was pretty darn hard to find something to eat. I could have gotten the fish or steak with vegetables on the side. I opted for a burger with onions, no bread of course with a  quinoa salad that had vegetables and golden raisins. You can eat quinoa because they are seeds. It was pretty good, but just, not a real burger. Got in bed around 9 pm and passed out by 9:30 pm. Was so ready to just sleep through the night, at least 8 or 9 hours…………. welp that didn’t happen.

Day 2

Woke up at 12:27 am with a migraine, oh I remember exactly what time. I’m not sure if you know this but… migraines and I are long lost enemies. I probably get one on average 1-2 times a month. What causes them for me? Dehydration, messed up sleeping patterns and alcohol. Since I didn’t drink at dinner, I think this one was caused by a messed up sleeping pattern. Not to get graphic, but sometimes my migraines get so bad I get sick. This time, I got sick, and sick again, then sick again, then again…. then a few more times. I saw the sun come up. The thing about my migraines, excedrine sometimes works, and prescription medications seldomly works, BUT WHYYYY?? Once I take the prescription medication and that doesn’t work, I often have thoughts of, “I should go to the hospital, I can get IV fluids, IV medication and will not suffer”. Never actually happens, but I always think about it. Finally fell asleep around 5 am, awake again around 6:30 am because my head hurt a lot. Why? Oh probably because I was dehydrated from throwing up so much. A. VICIOUS. CYCLE. At this point, couldn’t even keep water down without getting sick so was just laying there trying to survive. Fell back to sleep and woke up and started to drink water slowly. Finally around 2:30 pm I was keeping water down and decided to try crackers. Yeah, I know, not paleo, but what am I going to eat, some grilled chicken?? No. Ate about 1 cracker every ten minutes to make sure I could keep it down. Ate some grapes (paleo people) around 7 pm and more water, then coke (thank you bf). Mar always gives coke when you’re sick.

I definitely don’t think this was caused by eating paleo, just a bad coincidence.

Day 3

Fruit, fruit, fruit, chicken, lettuce, fruit, eggs, meatloaf, avocado. Attempted to make paleo biscuits……………….. well that didn’t work out too well. The ingredients were almond flour, butter, salt, baking powder. They completely flattened out and didn’t taste like anything.

Day 4

Today was the USA soccer game. Our boss let us watch the game and ordered food for us. Pizza and wings…. then the chef made pasta with shrimp and more wings………….. I had a salad with grilled chicken. Bummer. Went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I will admit… I had a salad with steak…. and it had crumbled tortilla chips in it… and I ate it!!!!! It was delicious.

Day 5

Listen….. I really tried to eat paleo for a week…………………  I just love food. Finished my salad leftovers for breakfast this morning.  Had some fruit, then ummmmmmm, had some dark chocolate. I WAS HUNGRY AND IT WAS THERE. While I was eating the chocolate I actually texted my friend Hillary and said ” ‘eff’ paleo”. The rest is history.

In the end, what do I think about paleo? I think it is way too hard to live a lifestyle where there are so many restrictions. Your life shouldn’t be surrounded with food you cannot eat. I hate having restrictions on my diet. I like the concept of paleo. Clean eating, simple eating, no processed foods. You can do that without restricting yourself so much. The more you say no, the more I want it, and in the end, I will eat it, because I want to. My friends and I saw Fault in Our Stars on Friday night. What did I learn from this movie….. you only live once, you can die at any time, and I don’t want to be on my death bed wishing I ate a piece of that chocolate cake (priorities people).

Hey, if you like paleo, more power to you. It isn’t for me.


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