January, 26, 2017. Thursday. Happy birthday to the love of my life. My boss asked me to audit 4 buildings. I started it last night and then decided to work from home today. It wasn’t to be home with Kim, he had plans to golf already, lol. This was for the best because I would have never gotten work done. We got up and went to brunch around 11 am to our local bakery/breakfast joint. Kim wanted a donut on this birthday so a donut he shall get. We walked there, about 1/2 a mile, I was pretty out of breath by the time I got there. We each ordered cheese omelets, his with ham, mine with sausage, they were HUGE. He got a chocolate covered donut and I got an almond croissant, yum. Went to pay, and I forgot my wallet, BAHA. The kid had to buy his own breakfast on his birthday, whoopsies. What’s yours is mine honey. We went back, Kim left for golf, I started work. I worked until about 4 pm. We were going bowling at 7 pm with a few friends and Kim’s family at this “boutique” place. That’s what “they” say but it kind of is. Their food is goooooooood. We got a pepperoni and bianca (white) pizza and they make it in the brick oven right where you bowl, YUM. Anyway, I laid down around 4 pm (actually I was laying down the entire time, LOL). I wasn’t feeling great, not sure why, just tired. Didn’t actually fall asleep but felt good to close my eyes, then I showered. Did I? No, yeah I did, Kim made me. Shower, face, clothes, wig, boom. We met everyone there. I was not sure if I should bowl because I was 9 days out from port placement and they said don’t lift anything over 10 pounds for 10 days, so I got an 8 pounds ball, hehe. It was all fine. I bowled fairly well, meh, not great. I think I got one strike out of three games. We were there until about 10:30 pm, woof, what the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets. I felt good though. We were not allowed to bring any food into the bowling alley and Kim’s mom made cupcakes so we had a post party cupcake tailgate, LOL. It was so fun, Pat makes some meannnnnn cupcakes, vanilla with chocolate icing and sprinkles. Kim got more legos for his birthday from his mom and brother, ugh. He’s 32 going on 12 but most of the time I like it. Shit, he can put legos on every surface of our house for how amazing he has been through all of this. Got home and in bed around 11:30 pm, don’t even remember going to bed, zzzzzzz.
January 27, 2016. Friday. Woke up around 9 am, could have slept all day. Does anyone else ever think, “no, it’s fine, I will just stay home today and then do work tomorrow”? Ugh I do it so much. I got up, got dressed, jeans for dress down day and then head to work. It was busy, busy but it felt good. I left around 4 pm and made a few calls for work on the way home, then the usual mom, Kim and added dad to the list. We usually e-mail throughout the entire day but I haven’t heard his voice in a few days so I thought I would give him a ring. I was also feeling very good and I like to let my parents hear my voice when I am happy and not only when I am sad and all cancer-y, ya know? I asked Kim if he wanted to go out to dinner because I was feeling so good, his response, “ummmmm, ummmmm”. So no, I think he was a little sleepy. I was going to pick up some stuff to make quesadillas, parked the car, looked to grab my wallet. WHOOOOOOOPS, someone forgot their wallet. I have a work bag and then a purse and I switched it from my work bag to my purse for last night. Ugh. Went home, told Kim I forgot my wallet, he said I should go back, BAHA, LOL, HAHA, no. I wanted something healthy, I am craving regular foods this week, I haven’t craved salad since treatment started. We ended up ordering from Pure Pita. It is sooooo good. The goat cheese salad IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER HAD. They take goat cheese, spread it on a pita then top it was sautéed onions, holy moly. It also has golden raisins, walnuts and roasted red peppers. I got falafels on the side as well, yum. Kim made his own rice bowl. He liked it, didn’t love it, very healthy. We watched The Next Iron Chef on Amazon Prime the rest of the night, pretty amazing. Around 9 pm I went up to bed and started blogging and watching Entourage. Kim and I are the epitome (I had to google how to spell that, I started it with an O, lol) of creatures of habit. We like to eat, sleep and watch tv. Kim was a big partier in his younger days, like, big. I never was. We would not have liked each other 10 years ago. I feel like the first year we started dating we were really trying to figure things out, which I think is pretty normal, then the second year we really started growing together, the compromise was there, it was just working, the third year, shit…. I know him better than he knows himself and he knows me better than I know myself and I think that’s when you know it’s real. We were up until about 12:30 am, WHAT WHY. Ugh. Kim even later.
January, 28, 2016. Saturday. Woke up at 8 am, 7-8 hours is my perfect amount of sleep, 7.5 to be exact. They are doing working across the street from our house, 6 days a week Monday-Saturday, woof. At least they will be done quicker (is that a word?). Anyway, got up, pants, robe, slippers, hat. Relaxed, edited the blog and posted it (a day late) and then had a soft baked oatmeal bar, yum it’s so good. I felt inspired and Kim and I have been talking about making blueberry muffins. He was still sleeping and I was bored so I did. I made this recipe. I wanted it to be really moist, hellooooooo buttah. It did not have as much sugar as other recipes because it had a crumble on top that I didn’t do. We didn’t have any fresh blueberries so I ran frozen blueberries under the sink for a minute or two. They smelled good, they looked good, and they tasted decent. They didn’t have much flavor but I think the base muffin recipe is a really good one to have in my pocket and then can add different things to it. Kim and I watched The Kitchen, it is on at 11 am each Saturday. Then, it was time.
I told Kim I wanted to run today, and he wouldn’t let me not, which is good, but it was a little bit annoying. I only wanted to run half a mile, because well, I get out of breath from walking half a mile. He forced me upstairs, watched me change (creep!), walked me downstairs, and literally pushed the door closed while I was in the doorway, more funny than not but, I AM GOING OKAY. I was nervous. I was nervous I would feel like shit after, throw up during or just, I don’t know!? I went out, it was about 35-40 degrees. I wore my earmuff headphones, yeah, earmuff headphones!! Love them for the winter. I wore a hat, obv, I am bald. Okay, went out, I went slow. I am usually a 9:30 minute miler, I was never a good runner. I did the Philadelphia half marathon twice. Shit is hard yo. I don’t know why I did it, me and my friends did it together but, damn, running is hard. Anyway, I felt ok, a little bit like I had lead feet. Around mile 0.4 I felt tired but just kept on trucking. I passed three smokers along the way. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU SMOKE? Okay, anyway. I did it. Runny nose and coughing for a while after but I DID IT. You need to start somewhere. While I was walking home I saw a father with his son, he was probably 14 but perhaps older. He was unable to walk on his own and his father was holding him directly in front of him, they may have been strapped together, their legs moving as one, so he could walk. Inspiration and sadness all in one. Someone once said to me, “there will always be someone who wants to be in your position”. This opened my eyes. I am not saying this boy would want to be in my position or I in his, but everyone has a battle and they are on so many different levels. Should we be thankful for ours? I am thankful for mine in a sense. I am thankful I do not have stage 4 cancer. I am thankful there is treatment for the EXACT type of cancer cell I have. I am thankful I am being treated by the best in the world. I am thankful for what this experience will do for me in the future.
I got home and Kim was finishing up his french toast, I wasn’t in the mood for that, but DAMN it smelled amazing. He “burnt” some bacon, he just doesn’t like it overcooked at all. I love it. He saved that for me. I made 2 eggs, one egg white with bacon and white cheddar and had another muffin with some raspberry jelly. Raspberry jelly is life, please try it. I think I have said that before. Breakfast was done and it was nappppppp time. My body started to become tired all over and I wrapped myself up in blankets, shut the (black out) shades and closed my eyes while on the couch. I woke up with a slight head ache and took some advil. That shit WORKS when you don’t take it often, damn. My head felt better in five minutes. I also drank a snapple. We got this because sometimes I am just SO over chugging water and they said drink anything because dehydration is one of the worst culprits. Ugh, it really is, everything is dry. Then it was shower time, yeah, yeah. We met my brother and mom at a new restaurant called Redstone. It was pretty good. The desserts were amazing. My brother got the chocolate chip cookie sundae, it was HUGE, like for 6 people huge in a cast iron skillet. I thought it was odd that they didn’t tell us that as we ordered two other desserts but oh well. We walked around the mall after to work off some of the food we ate. Kim got two dress shirts. I looked at the Apple watch ONCE again. I have been telling Kim and Hillary I want this watch ever since it came out. I just cannot bring myself to pay that much money for something that small to put on my wrist. Ugh. Future goals. Maybe. Probably not. We went home around 8:30 pm, relaxed then I went up to bed to watch tv and Kim met some of our friends out in town. Night night.
January, 29, 2017. Sunday. Woke up, feeling sore, but the good sore, feeling gooooooood. Woke up, did the dishes and made myself peanut butter and banana slices on whole wheat toast. Mmmmmm it was delicious. I had some coffee too! Not a lot but it tasted darn good. I signed into work for 3 hours then went shopping. Gosh I haven’t been shopping since I was diagnosed I think. I have the TJmaxx credit card and had $40 in rewards and Kim says I need to get more clothes because I wear the same clothes all the time, true story. Quality not quantity, that’s my rule of life with clothes, friends and everything in life. Anyway, went to TJmaxx and spent a bit over my $40, of course. Most of the stuff I buy had red clearance stickers, one shirt was $4!! I love a good steal. I was looking for something to wear to Pat’s surprise 60th birthday party tonight! Eek. I also went to the dollar store.
One of my favorite things in life is to decorate the house for each holiday with dollar store finds. I am decorating for Valentine’s day and it is amazing. I usually allow myself $10 a holiday, I splurged with $16, lol. I thought during this period of life I wouldn’t be up for it but listen, I AM. Got home, decorated, showed Kim all my clothes then it was time to shower, YUP, again. Showered, put Entourage on in my closet/make-up room and started to put my face on. I love tv. It shuts off a llllllll the extra thoughts in my brain. I was planning on actually trying and putting on foundation and stuff, because like who does that regularly? Got dressed, took a few times to choose, then put my red wig on, YAS. The surprise was planned for 5:30 pm so we were there by 5 pm. There were about 50 people there. The surprise went off without a hitch! Is that the right saying? She had NO idea. Oh wait, I had a drink! The doctor said you can drink, you can do “whatever you feel up to”. I got a Jameson and ginger ale, that is my usual go to, with a lime. I didn’t take a sip for about an hour out of fear, lol. I ate something first and then started sipping. It was delicious. I drank it veryyyyy slowly and only drank about 70% of it. I was sipping water alongside. I was just afraid to become dehydrated. I felt it a little but it wore off quickly with all the food I was eating. Duh. We were home by 9:30 pm. It was a surprise success!