April 5, 2017. Wednesday. Woke up around 8-8:30 am. Up and off to work. Got in a little before 10 am. Work, work, work. Left around 4:15 pm, was going down to stay at moms for the night. Traffic, traffic, traffic. I didn’t get down there until about 5:45 pm, thank goodness for Waze. Never used it? It helps you get around traffic, try it. Mom was sitting on the deck with Mrs. Colonel, she had warmed up a lasagna, yum. I scarfed it downnnnnn, I was hungry. Delicious (Aunt Joan). Hung out for a while. I set mom’s iPad up with HBOGO so she could watch Big Little Lies, DID YOU WATCH IT???? OMG I can’t. It is literally the first show that I ever watched when it aired on time, that means something. Watch it, I am jealous if you haven’t. People say that the book is really good, ugh, I hate reading, it’s bad.
I was hanging on the couch trying to plan my potential Cancerlorette party. What is that you ask? Ya know, go through chemo, be bald, you deserve a Cancerlorette party! We went to Ft. Laurderdale for Kara’s bachelorette party last year and it was awesome. Right across from the beach, awesome pool, drinks and service (important). So I was thinking we could go back there. I am not sure if I spoke to you guys about how I asked the NP if I could go on vacation during May, she said yes but it would be best to wait and plan it later so we know when all tests and stuff are. So my last legitimate chemo treatment is on Tuesday May 2 (I will come back to this) and then I have a surgical consult in the city on May 4. I asked when we would be doing a PET scan to see if it spread and they said, well, we don’t really do that, it didn’t spread. Now that’s confidence. We will scan, they said. I mean essentially, the surgeon is going to look at the old scans to remove all the affected tissue anyway. BUT KAY NEEDS A SCAN TO SEE WHERE IT IS, DID IT SHRINK AT ALL, IS IT TECHNICALLY GONE, SHOW ME. It will happen obviously. So anyway, I messaged them on my MSK app about the vacation, we are eager to book. I was up late, I was getting excited about the trip, sigh. Didn’t fall asleep until about 1 am, NO.
April 6, 2017. Thursday. Up around 8 am, the usual. Mom was on the couch drinking tea and watching the Today show. That show has really gone down the tubes huh? She was drinking her tea, I got my coffee. We were about to make breakfast when Nate walked in from class. “Wanna make us breakfast??” jokingly I said, “sure” he said. Bingo. Two egg and cheese sandwiches coming up, add ham for Mar, with fruit salad on the side. Yum.
I called the doctors office because I got no return on the message. Rebeka and I were texting all morning about the hotel, food options, FUN STUFF, so we were both eager. I called and left a message. I ALSO (I am annoying) e-mailed my NP from NYC who works with DR. LARRY NORTON. She usually got back to me quick. Here’s the issue; “they” recommended you get surgery a month after chemo, so, a month after chemo is May 30th, we want to go away the 25th-30th. So, I wanted to know if I had to get it done legitimately that week or a few days doesn’t matter. So I e-mail Karen (NY NP). I get a call back from the MSK at BR office nurse, ALL OVER THE PLACE I AM. She said, “So you want to know if you can go away the 25th-30th right?”… “yes” … “Ok, so when you ask about your last treatment, you mean your last taxol treatment correct?” … ummmmmmmmmm what. “You mean taxol, you will have your herceptin starting” … OHHHHHH YEAHHHH, CAN’T FORGET THAT. So when you are HER2+, you keep your port for a YEAR after chemo and get a herceptin infusion every three weeks for a year. It’s not chemo, it’s more of a signal blocker, so it will stop the HER2+ cells from saying, LET’S MAKE MORE CANCER BECAUSE WE ARE ASSHOLES. I mean you hope that all of them will be gone, but just in case and of course, you can’t see tiny, tiny, tiny cancer cells with any type of test. Anyway, okay, so we figured out my herceptin treatment will be Tuesday May 23rd. “The doctor recommends you wait at least 4 weeks before surgery so your counts come up” … “oh, so it’s not related to when they think the cancer will start to spread again necessarily, it’s for your counts, so between 4-6 weeks would be doable” … “yes” … “ok, so I can go on vacation” … “yes”. NO STOPPPPP. Okay so, at this point, I still kind of wanted to hear from the doctor. I was waiting for the e-mail back from Karen to get toooo excited. Less than an hour after the phone call I got the e-mail, “Dr. N said this would be fine. Congrats on almost being done!!”. AND IT’S ONNNNNNN. Again, what I said to Hillary and Rebeka, it will be 4 week days, Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, if we can’t work shit around those 4 days, then we got issues.
Mom had a doctors appointment then we went to Burger King, SIGHHHHHH. I need to eat better, it’s just so fucking hard right now. Why? Simply because I am being lazy really, so it’s not that hard. We then went to Harmon. What a terrible, rainy day it was. Kim and I were planning on going to Dick’s and out to dinner that night but I come home around 5 pm and the kid is nearly passed out on the couch. He’s been having head issues. Gets these headaches and fatigue. He went to the doctor the other day and got a boatload of lab work done, even a cancer related test, ALL PERFECT. Sigh. He napped while I booked some flights and hotel rooms for Florida yahoooo. I can finally use the THOUSANDS of Southwest points I have. Kim was up around 6:30 pm and the sun actually came out. He wanted a burger. Sigh, I had one for lunch. We ended up going to The Committed Pig, they have things other than burgers. I had fish tacos with a corn pudding. They were fried, meh, the pudding was good and weird. We then shared a carrot cake in a mug, why. Whyyyyyyy? Peg and Sam were at a restaurant a few doors down so we stopped in for about 15 minutes before heading home.
April 7, 2017. Friday. I slept like shittttt. I was up throughout the night with so many thoughts, a bloody nose, maybe up early with some bathroom issues. Yeah, we are in the opposite direction pretty much everyday now. I don’t hate it, better than being constipated, gosh that was horrendous. Anyway, I was up around 8 am, DID NOT want to get out of bed, may have cried a little, not actually but close, like a child. Shower, made a peanut butter sandwich, packed a banana and I was off. Work, work, work. At the end of the day, I looked at my insurance website and found a psychologist. Wait, did I tell you I found one before and the guy never showed up and said he forgot to put my name in and then his lawyer needed him. He said he would give me a session for free, BUT YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME SIR. I don’t get over that shit. Anyway, found another one, he’s a four minute walk from my house. Cha ching. I have been to both men and women therapists. I found going to a guy was better, why? Hmmm, I can’t put my finger on it but, I don’t really want to talk emotions, maybe the first time, but after that, I really want to work on my thought process, personality traits and goals in life. It is more personality behaviors stuff, anxiety. The last time I went to a guy, before all the insurance bullshit happened, I went to the gym before work 4 days a week, was very healthy, prepped food, it just helped me stay on track and not be lazy. Almost like a life coach.
Left work around 4:30 pm. Called mom and Kim, my two usual favorite humans. Kim was going to the chiropractor. Wait, today was the first day I ever took my wig off in the car and drove bald. LOL. I have recently been caring a lot less about my bald head. Maybe because when we go to Florida, I plan on being bald, with a hat on majority of the time, so I just don’t really care anymore. I have a nice shaped head, people tell me, and I think they are right. Anyway, got home around 5:15 pm, starving, because all I had was that sandwich and banana today, never a good idea. I pulled out some cheese, crackers, pepper jelly and cashews. So much cheese in my stomach, so much. Sigh. Kim and I wanted to go to Dick’s so we went. I have not bought new sneakers in years (ssssssss). I had two pairs, the one pair was on it’s way out so I actually left them in Ft. Laurderdale last year, LOL. Wonder if they are still there. The other pair has a hole in the toe and just, no. So we went. Kim was walking around picking shoes out for me, the kid likes bright shoes, and Nike. Nike shoes never fit my foot, something about the arch. I tried some on to make him happy, they are awesomeeeeee. They are like, so weird. They are very light weight, the shoe portion is just like, weaved material not like a regular shoe, it’s hard to explain, LOOK.
We were off for dinner. I was complaining about being so hungry before, but then the cheese set in, sigh. Kim wanted pizza. Yelped it, found a new place, we were in. Their pizza was really good. They actually had 4.5 out of 5 stars with 56 reviews, that’s pretty good. Kim got a chicken roll, said it needed something, my sausage pizza was good. It was 7:30 pm, I needed to get in bed. Took the long way home, sigh.
Got home, Kim dropped me off like the angel he is. I went right up to bed. Sometimes I forget I get chemo. I always know I have cancer, but I am getting chemo, I will be tiredddddd. I also slept like shit last night. I was having flashbacks of the AC treatment when I would be in bed crying saying how tired I was. Kim came up, snuggled me of course, and I was saying, “I’m tireddddd” with giggles this time, much better. He was waiting for the tears of course. Kim went to watch the Master’s and I was in bed watching girls on my phone because I wanted to be under the covers and still watch something. I am really weird guys, If you didn’t already know, I am sure you did. I got through two episodes and I was outttttt. Good night, sleep here we come.